Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Messenger posts his best chapter yet.
Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 05:35:07 pm EST
Subject
'Sunshine Days' Part Three: Preemption...
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
 		Next In Thread >>

’Lair Mansion …. Paradiopolis. The year is 1999.

A stream of light filters through and illuminates the shrouded corner of a dusty room.

A duffel bag is unzipped and a limp body falls out. He groans as two figures watch on.

“The Lair Legion didn’t ask any questions about the bag, but we need to keep him where we can monitor him--- here in the mansion under wraps. For a place with close to two hundred rooms, I’m hoping this small, windowless office won’t be disturbed. Even so we must be vigilant… keep it barricaded and set up a silent alarm for the door. Keep him sedated… but keep him well fed and taken care of. Keep him alive. He is after all… me.” Messenger informs Jarvis as he stares down at his younger self.

“… stop…” the 1999 era Postman pleads as a door is shut on him, once again enveloping the room in darkness.


“Messenger…” a voice calls out just as the 2007 era Messenger and Jarvis walk away. “What are you doing?”

spiffy stands there in the hallway. The beleaguered fifteen year old only meets Messenger’s chest as of this time he is still in the throes of puberty, a far cry from the cockier and more sure adult of 2007. But while his body may not yet be fully developed, his mind is and questions are percolating in the young teenager’s head.

“Nothing, Mark. Don’t you have Mayoral duties or something?”

“Huh?!” spiffy and Jarvis mutter in unison as they both look back at Messenger in bewilderment, lacking the knowledge of Mark Hopkins’ future occupation as Mayor of Paradiopolis. **

“I mean… school….” Messenger grits his teeth. “You’re still in school, right?”

“Messy…” spiffy asks, his ferns nervously recoiling around his body. “… what happened to you today? You look aged. Like you’ve come back older… And different. Distant. You didn’t say a word when you hopped off the Lair Jet.”

“Nothing happened…. I-- I….”

Jarvis cuts off the stammering Postman. “We ran into a new villain, Mark. He artificially aged Messenger. We’re looking at ways to reverse it, but as you can imagine he’s not happy about the situation so give him a break and lay off the questions!”

“Status report said it was a false alarm. That you didn’t encounter any- any…” spiffy trails off as he watches Messenger’s cold eyes glare at him and his brow furrow.

“It was a villain, spiffy. Now leave us alone,” Jarvis instructs him. “If I’m not mistaken, your patrol duties start in fifteen minutes.”

“Well… that’s what I came to ask you…. Um…. I can’t seem to locate the… uh….” he hears muffled shouts come from the office. “uh…. flashlight?”

“Its… Not…. Here.” Messenger informs him, stone-faced.

“Oh-…. Okay. I’m--… I’m sorry… I-….”

“…. for the love of God, someone get me out of here!” comes a scream from the office.

“What the--?! That sounded like--…. like--…” spiffy’s eyes widen. Fear washes over his face. “Like you….”

“Dammit! We have to take him out now too!” Messenger shouts at Jarvis.

“But--… But I can’t just--….”

“DO IT!!”

“… okay.”

A concussive blast leaves Jarvis’s charged fist and slams into Mark Hopkins sending him to the floor.

“Is he out?” the Postman asks. “Is he going to stay out?!”

“Yeah… he…. he…” Jarvis sighs. “He’s unconscious.”

“Good, then throw him in the office alongside my past self. And while you’re it, inject them both with the sedatives. We can’t allow my mission to be further compromised or we all pay the price.”

“Oh… Okay…” Jarvis softly replies. “But…. Are you sure this is the right way to … I mean, can this…?”

“Look, Jarvis!” Messenger grips his shoulders. “If you want to die… then tell me. And I’ll kill you myself. But if you want to live and I’m betting that you do, you realize my knowledge of the future is the only key to your survival. What’s happening here is bigger than myself, you and spiffy. I’ve told you before … my business in your time is to preemptively save thousands of lives. I won’t let you or anyone else stop me from completing my mission objective. The means do justify the ends, and if those means include executing some …. morally questionable acts…. then yes!” he flashes his teeth. “I won’t hesitate for a second.”


Sunshine Days

Part Three: Preemption


Hatman, Hollywood V, Dark Knight, Dark-Hwk, Pegasus, Lisa, Banjooooo, Fin Fang Foom, Visionary, Sersi, Rocket Raccoon, Starseed, Donar and other past Lair Legionnaires sit around a long table. Omnipresent monitors and TVs air news reports in the background talking about Kosovo, Clinton’s impeachment, school shootings and a recent epic battle with Parody Master among other events of the day.

Although the televisions are tuned to news channels for the majority of the day to watch out for breaking news events usually involving super villain rampages, this minute their attentions rests squarely on one of their own.

“Has anyone seen spiffy?” Hatman asks. “He was supposed to start his guard duty a little while ago.”

“He’s probably watching one of those shit shows he likes, like ‘Shasta McNasty’ or ‘G vs E.’ *tsk* Typical mortal teenager,” Sersi sighs. “How I would love to divest him of his virginity.”

Awkward silence follows, finally interrupted by Hatman coughing.

“Well, look … I gathered you guys here, because I’m sure you all witnessed the strange display when Messenger came off the Lair Jet earlier tonight.”

“Strange?” Lisa raises an eyebrow. “Guy looks like he aged ten years in the span of an hour. I mean I realize he’s been under stress being framed for the murder of the Mayor a week ago, but….*”

“He did,” Hatman cuts her off.

“He-…. He did what?” Lisa asks.

The capped crusader throws down surveillance stills on to the desk. “Age. Look… here’s a close-up of Messenger before he left to investigate the disturbance in Seedy Town with Jarvis at approximately 7:12 pm. Here he is returning with Jarvis at 8:46 pm. The difference in demeanor is disturbing to say the least. He’s also carrying a suspicious bag of some sort.”

Gasps are audible as the pictures are passed among the costumed heroes.

“This is why I didn’t invite Jarvis to the meeting. Because I’m not sure we can trust him. He was on that mission with Messenger… if that even is our Messenger.”

“What are you saying, Hatty?”

“I … I don’t want to make any accusations… yet. But it’s not just his radically aged appearance. He seemed disconnected, standoffish when he came back. Like he didn’t know us. When I asked him what happened he just replied that I should worry more about what’s going to happen… and then walked away.”

“What’s the course of action, oh deputy leader?” Starseed asks.

“Action…? Well we keep him on a close leash and just monitor him. Don’t make any moves unless… or until I signal them. For now we play ignorant. Everyone should act as casually as possible around him. Pretend its poker. With some luck he’ll buy our bluff.”



Elsewhere in the data room….

“You gotta be kidding… You’re still using dial-up?” Messenger asks as an obnoxious dial tone rings out, and he taps his fingers impatiently.

“Um… what do you mean?” Jarvis replies puzzled.

“Never mind.” a page opens up and Messenger types in an address. The page he receives is a 404. “No online yellow pages. Haven’t gotten around to that yet? Shit, guess that means I can’t check my myspace account either.”

“… um….”

“Don’t worry. There’s other ways of finding these people.”

“Finding what people?”

“1/17…. The day I left for this era. Massive terrorist attack by a fringe Islamic terrorist group. They seemed Westernized however, as if they had been here for a while…. planning, plotting, continuing with their murderous orders under the eyes of unsuspecting neighbors and innocents. Perhaps they were in this country as early as…. 1999?”

“Terror- Terrorist group?”

“They blew up a high-school, a mall, a bridge, a hospital, an aquarium, a financial center… and the Daily Trombone among other places.” Messenger pauses as a tear wells in his eye. “… I… You don’t know how lucky you… you have it…”

“Lucky…?”

“…. This time period. Where your biggest concern is the President getting a blowjob…. blissfully ignorant to the horror waiting around the corner. If it wasn’t so tragic it would almost be funny.”

“Look, life is anything but easy… I mean we have serious threats like Baron Zemo and this new guy… Hooded Hood or something… to contend with. And then there’s the Marauding Minx and Dynamo Dolphin and of course that evil sock guy whose name escapes me… and…”

Messenger ignores Jarvis’s rambling and instead focuses on that terrible day in 2007…

…. 8 years in the future:

“Let him go!” the man with the cap screams as the gun shakes in his hand.

Messenger gestures for him to lower the weapon. “Okay… look, who are you?”

“Ahmed Naseem. Who the Hell are you?”

“Your English is very good, Ahmed,” Messenger backs away from Farooq.

“I went to Paradiopolis University. I was born here… but I answered the call to Jihad…” @

“Ahmed Naseem….” Messenger whispers, typing in the name into ‘Ask Jeeves.’ “His name was Ahmed Naseem and he was born here… Here in Paradiopolis.”

He waits a minute for the page to load.

“And he--….” Messenger swallows hard. “He’s a junior … at Rocketman High. One – One of the places that was bombed… He….” he scrolls down the official school page which talks about Ahmed being on the Honor roll and his extensive community service. “… He’s still a kid.”

“This is your terrorist mastermind?” Jarvis asks in disbelief.

“… yes…” is the barely audible reply. “… I have to kill him.”


Suddenly, Donar storms in. He glances suspiciously at Messenger and Jarvis, as the former closes his window and severs his internet connection.

“Wha- What’s up, big guy?” Jarvis stammers.

“Aye…” Donar replies briskly. “Some madman by thy name of Energizer has doth fallen into a bezerker rage in a bank, threatening to execute some mortals unless he gets an escort to safety. I’m just retrieving my hammer, Mjalcolm.”

“En- Energizer…?” Messenger’s stomach tightens into a knot. Energizer, the villain who months later would murder his lover, Poisyn and put him in a destructive tailspin that he would never fully recover from. #

“Aye… what is it to you?”

“You--…. You must let me come with you…” Messenger demands.

“NAY!” Donar thunders back. “We have enough Lair Legionnaires! You stay guard here, postman!”

“It wasn’t a question…” Messenger’s stare is so cold, so devoid of soul or even spark that it’s capable of sending a shiver down the spine of an immortal God such as Donar.

“I’m still your leader, Donar,” Jarvis interjects. “I’m assigning Messenger to join you on this mission….”

“But-… I doth protest!”

“Too bad…”

“Aye…” Donar sighs. “Very well, Butler. Postman you are to serve as backup only. Starseed, Dark-Hwk and myself are to lead the battle charge!”

“Yeah, sure… whatever you say.”

………………………………………


Later…

They ride in silence, nary a word spoken among them. Starseed attempts to make idle conversation at one point, but Donar wears his distrust of Messenger on his sleeve and the Postman is fully aware of it.

The Lair-Jet touches down outside of First Parody Bank, ironically one of the numerous targets destined to be destroyed eight years in the future.

Messenger, Starseed, Dark-Hwk and Donar descend from the aircraft and stake out the side of the bank.

“Aye… hear thee, Lair Legionnaires. Thy plan is for Starseed to first disorient any occupants with his GAAAAH! scream. Then, Dark-Hwk you are to swoop on to the roof and pick off any accomplices he may have, while I storm thy bank and introduce Energizer to Mjalcolm!”

“What about me?” Messenger asks.

“What about you?” Donar spits back.

Messenger grins as he pulls out a gun. “I have a better idea of how to handle Energizer. I walk into the bank and shoot him twice in the head.”

“What--… you can’t just… have you been infected with the madness, mortal?!”

“Watch me…” he turns his back on his teammates and enters the revolving doors of the bank.

“Wait! We can’t just let him…”

“It’s alright Dark-Hwk. Whoever this Messenger is, I have a hard time believing he would commit an act of cold-blooded murder such as that.” Starseed replies. “He’s just doing the tough-guy act in order to dominate Donar and undermine his authority. Lisa was telling me about it. It’s alpha-male psychology and he’s attempting to put Donar on the spot by testing the boundaries of---“

Starseed’s monologue is interrupted by a gunshot from inside.

“That’s not psychology. That’s gun-fire!” Dark-Hwk bursts through the bank wall ditching the established plan.

“Shit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Starseed jumps in after him.

“What barbaric acts hath thou mortal committed?” Donar demands as he marches in behind his comrades.

They see Messenger holding a smoking gun, standing over Energizer, a man suited in an armor equipped with electrical conduits. Energizer is on the floor, holding his side and bleeding profusely.

“I… I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU!!” Energizer screams in terror as he tries to slide away on the tile-floor.

“You killed Poisyn…”

“What? WHAT?!”

“You killed Poisyn, scum. A thousand deaths would be too good for you….”

He points the gun at Energizer’s exposed head.

“… But I’ll settle for two.”

*BLAM*


“My God…” Starseed whispers. “He did it… He killed him.”

Messenger turns around, casually brushing off bits of brain matter and skull from his shirt as he does so.

“What?” he asks, as Dark-Hwk, Starseed and Donar form a wall blocking his exit. “You didn’t think I was going to let him live, did you? He was a killer! By eliminating him, I save innocents! Doesn’t that make it worth it? Doesn’t it?”

“You know we can’t let you leave, Messenger…” Dark-Hwk tells him.

“LAIR LEGION…” Donar whips Mjalcolm above his head. “… ATTACK!!”


NEXT: Messenger verses Starseed, Donar and Dark-Hwk! Nuff said....


NOTES:

*- This story takes place very soon after the April 1999 arc, ‘Dark Days’, which involved Messenger being framed and eventually cleared of the assassination of the then-Mayor of Paradiopolis.

**- Little does anyone know in 1999 that the teenage Mark Hopkins would eventually be one of the Mayor’s successors.

@- This flashback is an exchange taken verbatim from Sunshine Days Part One. Go on… take a look. I’ll wait.

#- In the classic Summer 1999 one-shot “Messenger: The Worth of a Man.”


Posted from U.S. Company
using Apple Safari/MacOS X
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v3.0 beta © 2003-2006 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2006 by Mangacool Adventure